Friday, May 30, 2008

From the forthcoming Blog

Spice Oddessy: Exploring the burning tounges of Saturn.

There are four stages, if you will, in the Spice Oddessy. These four stages represent haow many Scoville Units will either send a person to the Spice Moon and beyond or will have them burning up upon re-entry.

1. Spice Camper: Unflinching in their resolve to never leave the safe gravity of ultra-mildom. Should a fleck of of Cayanne pass the frontier that are their mouthes it could set off a wild fire that can only be quenched by loud complaining and derision of those who put forth this ungodly heat.

2. Spice Cadet: Ever the adventurer in their own minds. Spice Cadets although ill-equipped to handle the rigors of Spice Travel they will venture with you to the moons of Thai-Food. You'll make certain to ask for robo-mild curry, but it most certainly will still be beyond thier levels of Spicy-G Force tolerance but god how they try. They will seldom leave orbit and will always attempt to find a spice helmet that fits. The SPice Cadets spirit is to be commended.

3. Spice Invader: A spice invader will pillage and plunder the Spice universe at will. Their reckless sense of adventure often gets them in over their heads. A spice invader may for instance, insist on venturing too close to a habenero black hole from which there can be no return. You will find them in zero gravity restrooms blowing out o-rings.

4. The Overlords, Masters of Spice and Thyme: These creatures are not of this universe. They have Spice Madness and will stop at nothing to doiminate and conquer all things spicy. They have completely oblitereated their pallete. Curiously, they do not flock together, no they are far too competitive. If two Spice Overlords should occupy the same space a great Spice battle will ensue until there is noting but charred wrekage and a single true Overlord. You will notice them by the sweat streaming from seemingly endless pores, and yet they will insist that they are just fine.

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