My rind is getting properly moldy.

My 34th b-day is neigh-at-hand and although I feel lithe and limber and Mos Def I don't feel at all like a grown up. However, is there some kind of special MAN doctor that I should be visiting? Is there some part of me that I'm not even aware of that needs to be probed or measured? Is there some expensive procedure that Kaiser will probably only cover like .002% so as to offset the humiliation that awaits me from having no pants on and yet with socks? Or am I to leave the herd now, and just go away to die? This is all just very sad.